I woke up on the top branch of the tree I climbed to get away from the tsunami. Marvin lay across my torso sleeping.
“Hey, Marvin, wake up.” I whispered, rubbing on his back.
He picked up his head, and blinked his sleepy eyes awake, then looked up at me with a silly, sloth smile. I laughed.
“We should start heading home,” I stated.
Marvin wrapped his arms around my neck and held onto me as I climbed down the tree to the still-muddy ground below.
The tsunami had carried me out of my well-known territory, and I had no idea where we were. I thought a minute of what to do.
“Well the tsunami came from that way,” I thought aloud as I pointed in front of me, “So it carried us this way.” I turned around and pointed in the opposite direction. “So that means that home is in the direction the tsunami came from.” I said matter-of-factly, and started walking in that direction.
After about two hundred yards, I found the tree and cavern that for the past weeks I have called “home”.
“Finally,” I said as I walked over to the tree, threw my bag on the ground, and sat myself at the base of the tree. Marvin climbed up to a lower branch, where he dangled peacefully and gleefully.
It was silent for a few seconds until a heard a faint sound near me, though I couldn’t quite identify what it was. I looked around in search of the thing that made the sound, and out of the corner of my eye I saw something small and brightly colored. I turned my attention to it to see better what it was.
“Ahh!” I screamed.
It was a frog; but not just any frog- a poison-dart frog, whose venom can kill. It was bright blue with black spots all over its back. It had a kind of slimy look to it that made it glisten in the light. It seemed to be glaring at me as if I were the intruder.
I got up and slowly backed away.
“It’s okay,” I told myself, “It’s just one little froggy.”
Then, too coincidentally, another three hopped out of the brush and sat next to the first one.
“Okay,” I thought out loud, “Froggy has friends.”
I continued backing away slowly, until my right heel knocked into a tree root, and I fell onto my back with a large, painful THUD.
My head fell to the left and when I opened my eyes, there were at least ten staring me in the face. My eyes widened and my heart started beating hard inside my chest. I took slow, quiet, shallow breaths, as if being silent would blind them and they wouldn’t see me.
Then I felt something land on my arm, and I knew at once what it was. I looked down and the bright blue, spotted frog was sitting on my left forearm. Just one bite and I would be dead.
“Well, I’d really love to stay, but it looks like I’ll be visiting my sister for a while.” I said to no one in particular. “Goodbye.”
Death by frog, I thought, what a pitiful way to die.
This was a really good blog post that I really liked reading. I loved it when you said “Froggy has friends” this made me want to laugh so badly, but I can’t because we’re in class right now. I also really like how you keep finding ways to bring things back to your sister, it’s always really touching when you do. Your descriptions of the frogs were good and really allowed me to see what you were seeing, but you didn’t do much in terms of touch, sound, or smell, which really could have brought this piece to life. I also feel like you should have put some action in. You could be killed by the frogs at any second but all you do is stand there until the one frog jumps on your arm. I personally would have run away from that “home” as soon as I saw one of those frogs, and I didn’t really get why you didn’t do anything to at least try to get away. Overall, this was still a very good blog post, keep up the great work!
I enjoyed this blog post just like I enjoyed the others. You are a very relatable writer, meaning when you write I feel as though, given that situation, I would do the same. Just a few quick problems I have found. The way you break up your writing into many short paragraphs feels almost choppy to me. I feel as though id get a better reading effect if it was all in one story line. The dialogue is also written correctly in some spots yet wrong in others. I liked how you added Marvin to the mix. It was a great writing piece good job.
I liked this post very much. One suggestion would be, instead of having twenty paragraphs, have two or three. Plus, the directions for the posts usually say two to three paragraphs. Other than that, I thought your post had a lot of description, especially about the frogs.